Anyone, who like me tends to get the blues on Mondays, would have found the perfect cure if they had watched ITV's "Tonight" program on the subject of Mercury amalgam, which is used in the majority of filling by British dentists. There is a change in the wind it seems and now the EC is becoming increasingly concerned about the prevalence of mercury and its effects on health and many changes in legislation are beginning to filter through in order to reduce its use and tighten up the way it is handled. Norway, Sweden and Denmark have now banned its use in dentistry and other European countries are sure to follow.
A serious matter as I am sure you will agree so why am I sniggering. Well, amidst the serious discussion of Mercury, the third most toxic of all elements, up pops a splendid stand up comic double act,worthy of the Apollo. Put your hands together please for Mssrs Barry (don't call me Bazza) Cockroft. Britains Chief Mental Officer. and Mr Peter Ward, Chief Exec of the British Dental association. Although I had not noticed it before, Wards combination of geniality and shiftiness combined to make him look uncannily like the dude who plays the fat bank manager who admits to a pair of young would-be customers that the generous rates his bank offered were only bait to "hoik" new customers in.
All seemed OK as the interview began but when the ITV reporter tried to pin him down on whether or not he agreed that if mercury was so toxic wasn't he concerned that it could still be put in peoples mouths. Bazza began to look a little more than irritated. I wondered whether he was going to refuse to answer any further questions. but this privilege was left to the Chief Exec of the BDA Mr Peter Ward. When asked similar questions about safety he began to look decidedly shifty and for a moment i thought he would either run away or even jump out of the window. Despite the fact that the questions had been agreed with him in advance he suddenly accused the reporter of trying to manipulate him into saying something which he had already said but claimed he did not.
When the reporter tried again, Ward started to waive his arms about and did the "I cannot hear you la la la la la la la la la fingers in the ears routine." He then put his hand over the camera lens and refused to continue the interview but then having apparently thought better of this, he regained his composure and started again as if nothing had happened. I began to suspect that someone had been on the laughing gas or had already been exposed to a little too much mercury. I am sure I cannot be the only person to be both amazed and amused by this display.
In an earlier posting i accidentally confused Ward and Cockcroft by attributing the eccentric behaviour because i had not seen the whole of the program but recourse to the ITV player helped me untangle the confusion. My eyesight has never been very good and reading captions on a small screen can be difficult and in view of the preposterous things that Bazza Cockcroft has said in the past it was easy to assume that the crazier of the two was he. Still, it was a privalage to see him upstaged by Peter Ward.
On the 12th February when questioned about the Which? magazine survey which highlighted the continued shortage of dentists and people so desperate that they were extracting their own teeth, Cockcroft said "These findings come from an online multiple choice survey that has no statistical credibility. It is ludicrous to suggest that three million people are doing DIY dentistry. DIY dentistry is dangerous and unnecessary. Thanks to our investment of over £2bn in NHS dentistry, there are now lots of new NHS dental practices expanding and opening around the country." But this answer only begged another question. If it was true that there are now lots of new NHS dental practices expanding and opening around the country, why was this necessary when only a handful of years earlier, there were plenty of good dentists in all areas and no sign of shortage.?
Of course it must be a mere coincidence that this shortage of dentistry happened soon after New Labour took power and started its tinkering and re-invention of the wheel. How tragic that Old Labour even with its failings had nonetheless succeeded in creating a Health Service that made us the envy of the world and proud to be British only to have its work undone not only by the privitising Thatcherites but also by New Labour and its many glove puppets like our Bazza and Pete.
Well I am very sorry Messrs Cockcroft and Ward, but I am afraid that neither of you are really cut out for this dentistry business so we will have to let you go, but i am sure you will soon find more suitable work at the Hackney Empire. And, don't forget to take that mercury and fluoride with you. With material like yours, you will almost certainly need some props. Miss Jones, Will you show in Harry and Paul please.
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